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Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying, by Maggie Callanan, Patricia Kelley
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Offers families, friends, and care-givers of terminally ill patients suggestions for facilitating a peaceful death with advice on listening to the dying in order to understand their needs. 25,000 first printing. Tour.
- Sales Rank: #402194 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Poseidon Pr
- Published on: 1992-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.75" h x 5.75" w x 1.00" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 221 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Kirkus Reviews
Impressive insights into the experience of dying, offered by two hospice nurses with a gift for listening. The ``final gifts'' of the title are the comfort and enlightenment offered by the dying to those attending them, and in return, the peace and reassurance offered to the dying by those who hear their needs. Callanan and Kelley describe a phenomenon they term ``Nearing Death Awareness''--which resembles somewhat the near-death experience sometimes reported by individuals revived after being clinically dead. Nearing Death Awareness, however, develops slowly, and the dying person seemingly drifts for a time between two worlds. Attempts by the dying to communicate about this awareness, often expressed in symbolic language or gestures, may be misunderstood by those around them, who dismiss the expressions as mere ``confusion.'' According to the authors, dying messages fall into two categories: descriptions of what they are experiencing (such as the places they see, the presence of others no longer alive, or their knowledge of when death will occur) and requests for what the dying need for a peaceful death (a reconciliation, for instance, or the removal of some barrier to departure). To illustrate, Callanan and Kelley include numerous examples of Nearing Death Awareness from their years of caring for the dying. And they offer practical advice not only to involved family members but also to professional caregivers on how to recognize, understand, and respond to a dying person's messages. No lugubriousness or false cheerfulness here, but acute observations and astute advice on a difficult topic. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
Review
“A treasure–clear, authentic, responsible, and profoundly moving.” —Sandol Stoddard, author of The Hospice Movement
“Beautifully written, illuminating and reassuring…Final Gifts is truly a gift to us all.” —Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage to Grieve
“These richly told stories enable us to respond to the dying in new and authentic ways.” —Ira R. Byock, M.D., author of Dying Well: The Prospect for Growth at the End of Life
“Impressive insights into the experience of dying, offered by two hospice nurses with a gift for listening…They offer practical advice not only to involved family members but also to professional caregivers on how to recognize, understand, and respond to a dying person’s messages.” —Kirkus Reviews
“A hopeful, helpful work…provides a gentle way to think about the unthinkable.”—Publishers Weekly
“A treasure…‘must’ reading for anyone working with the dying, or living with a dying person or life-threatening illness, or thinking about the process.”—Vital Signs
“Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley have garnered a wisdom and sensitivity, and cultivated a keen observation that only the dying could teach.”—Sunrise
“Insightful. Final Gifts is a significant contribution. Experienced hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley shed important light on human experience at the end of life. I highly recommend this helpful book to all who care for the dying.”—Dr. Balfour Mount, Professor of Palliative Medicine, McGill University
“Irrespective of belief system, age or diagnosis of the dying person, Final Gifts conveys the awe and profundity of the moments surrounding death that we all feel.” —Madalon Amenta, R.N., M.D., Public Health Editor of The Hospice Journal
From the Publisher
"When someone we love is dying...
It's hard to know how to help, what to do, what to say. Yet if we know how to listen and what to look for, the dying themselves can often supply the answers, letting us know what they need to hear and express to allay their fears and face death with serenity.
For more than a decade hospice nurses Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley have tended the terminally ill. Now, in this moving and compassionate book, they share their intimate experiences with patients at the edge of life. through these stories you'll come to appreciate the near-miraculous ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, and even choreograph their own final moments; you'll gain new insight into the leave-taking process; and in the end you'll discover the gifts -- of wisdom, faith and love -- that the dying leave for us to share.
"Beautifully written, illuminating and reassuring... Final Gifts is truly a gift to us all." -- Judy Tatelbaum, author of The Courage To Grieve
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Offers insight and comfort
By ♦️ Andrea Polk ♦️
Recommended to me by a dear friend, Final Gifts was a book that helped her to understand what her father was going through during the final stages of his long battle with cancer. She said she found it to be comforting and helpful, and encouraged me to read it, even if it was in small snippets versus reading it thoroughly cover to cover.
I ordered the book and the first pages I opened up to related to how someone who is dying might really know in their soul 'when' that is going to occur (Nearing Death Awareness) and in small ways prepare their loved ones. Individual's stories are brief, but well written and thought provoking. I found myself thinking back to what I'd read over and over again during the next few days.
My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer over a year ago, and subsequently the doctors found she had a separate cancerous tumor (non-metastatic) on her pancreas. She has two aortic anyuersms and doctors really aren't sure why she is still with us, but continue to give her palliative care in the form of chemotherapy and pain meds to extend her life. At the same time, we try to prepare for her departure.
As a caregiver this book is helping me to understand a bit more about what my mother is going through and remind me to be present in all my interactions with her, as even the mundane ones my be Final Gifts. I'm grateful my friend recommended this book to me and I would recommend it to others who are helping a friend or family member who is dying.
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Insightful
By Bego
I am a nurse, appreciate the insights shared from this book & the individual stories shared. The grace and beauty the dying bestow on us amazes me. This book enlightens the process of dying for the ones actively doing it, the family-/loved one's dealing with the difficulty of losing their loved one, and for those of us caring for patients and families in the midst of death. We all know death is a vital life experience and this book helps us learn that we need not fear death or those dying. To me, this book gives a perspective of hope, understanding, respect and reverence for easing, comforting, assisting the dying and families who are sharing in the experience.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
So grateful
By Amazon Customer
I found this book by chance decades ago. I have read it many times and it prepared me to be with my parents as they died and to provide hospice care in my home for my brother last week. Understanding how to listen to him helped me ease him from life feeling comforted and loved in a safe and familiar place. I am honored i could do that for him, and am grateful for the preparation this wonderful book has given me. I recommend it to everyone i know who is struggling with the imminent death of a loved one.
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